We searched the Internet to find the worst car lifts ever built, and they come from all over this great nation of ours. Seriously, folks. Buy a real car lift before you attempt to replicate any of these hilarious-yet-stupid makeshift heaps of beautiful junk.

1. 101 Ways to Use a Lead Pipe You Found Sticking out of the Ground
Keep an eye on the back-right chassis corner when he lifts it up. It totally doesn’t scare us one bit.

2. Do Away with Pesky One-Touch Button Controls
Ancient man probably lifted his chariots this way. Ancient man also had a life expectancy of 35 years.

3. “I’m Not Saying It FELL… I Feel Like You Aren’t Listening.”
We shared this photo with our engineers, sales team and customer service reps, and no one is in total agreement on this one. Is it Photoshopped? Is the bed supposed to be… bolted on? Someone help us out here.

4. But… they said I should use frame cradle pads on my truck!

We’re all about the frame cradle pads. But, did we say smash them against the vehicle chassis, nowhere near the lifting point, without using the necessary truck adapter set? How long do you think it took for them to go from “well, it’s still crushing the frame, better lift it higher,” to whatever the opposite of that thought is?

5. “Honey, Your Car is on the Fritz Again. Grab my Log. And my Really Big Stick. And My Tractor. No, the other Tractor.” 

We’ve probably said all we need to say.

6. Just in Time for Halloween

This looks like something you’d see in a zombie movie when they try to rebuild society using PVC pipe and duct tape. Someone get this guy a scissor lift, please.

7. Caught Playing Transformers on the Side of the Road

Never mind that the truck is perfectly capable of towing the car. Ignore the incredibly unsafe center of gravity this rig creates. Forget about the immense effort, timing and planning it must have taken to get it up there in the first place. Let us focus on the achievement. Let us argue over whether they called the police or got pulled over. And yes, let us remember the time two grown men tried to make a real-life Transformer out of their cars. In the rain. We give thanks to the person who pulled over to capture this moment.

8. 50% Ramps, 5% Blood Alcohol, 100% Worst Car Lift Ever Built

We’re not saying it’s Redneck. Someone else said that.

This link will take you to a place where you can rest your eyes. If you have more crazy car lifts that you think represent the worst ever built, share them with us, and we’ll all have a laugh.