Archives : 2009 : August

Ranger Toolbox Giveaway Winners

August 3rd, 2009

Note: All Ranger Toolboxes have been discontinued.

Here at BendPak / Ranger, we like to keep in touch with the automotive enthusiast community whenever we can. One of our favorite websites is These wrenchers are dedicated, knowledgeable and helpful. They also happen to be pretty darn funny.

So as a way of saying thank you, we hosted a little bit of a contest on their forums.

The prizes?

The mission as posted by Marketing VP Jeff Kritzer:

  • Post your original story in this thread. Somewhere within should be a reason as to why you are deserving of such a spectacular offer.
  • Make the story fact or fiction, we don’t care. BUT, it’s got to be a narrative. We’re not looking for lists or essays here folks. Oh, and for all of you contemporary types, we’ll also accept poems and haikus.
  • If you aren’t writing a poem or haiku, we’d like to see about 300 or more words. Not a novel, but something substantial.
  • Get crazy, get creative, but most of all make sure it’s hilarious. Humor is the single best way to increase your chances of winning. Our interoffice chuckle-meter should be going nuts by the time we’re done reading your post.
  • Naturally we’ve got final say, but we welcome Garage Journal readers to chime in to sway us with their picks.
  • After you receive your free gift, we ask (pretty please) that you take some photos and post something about your new adventures with the toolbox set.
  • In essence, apply those wicked writing skills one more time and review the unit.
  • Post as many stories as you like. If you’re willing to put in the time and effort to compose a well-written, hilarious short story, we’re more than happy to read it.
  • The contest ends at exactly 5:00PM, PST, July 31, 2009.
  • Oh yeah, and no plagiarism. We’ll be checking to make sure there were no copy / paste jobs. We KNOW how funny you guys can be.

All told, we ended up with 29 official entries, all hilarious.
But in the end, our top winners in ascending order were Vicious_Cycle, BigRed390 and finally PistolWhip. Here’s some of our favorite excerpts from the story.

“The Scab” by Vicious_Cycle

Back at the shop, Norm has another car up on the lift, so I dropped this one around back, to be worked on later, after we’re finished with the, ahem, paying customers’ cars.Two o’clock, Norm tells me to hook up to The Scab and back it onto the lift in the high bay. “The lift” is an old in-ground center-post air over hydraulic drive-on lift that dates back to, I don’t know- the Fifties? Forties maybe? Regardless… this thing is hammered. Whatever devices the lift used to have for stopping you from driving off the front are long gone. In their place are two stacks of two-by-fours anchored to the rack by four lengths of half-inch threaded rod. I think that was one of Norm’s brainstorms. The ramp pieces at the other end that you drive up on are still there, but they no longer pivot down and chock the car in place like they were designed to do. And the rod that keeps the lift from rotating like a turntable is also long gone. OSHA would be horrified.

“Fireworks Store” by BigRed390

So there I am, fart fan on, door locked to keep drunken friends from opening the door with customers in the store, magazine wide open. I’m in the middle of a scowl-inducing article on pending emissions legislation when I hear a splash and two drunks laughing outside the door to my throneroom. There’s a clear liquid seeping under the door along the tile floor. I’ve seen this trick. You splash a thin layer of alcohol on the floor and light it. It flares up, goes WHOOSH, and frightens the victim. Not so simple this time. SPLASH. More go-go juice pours under the door. WHOOSH. here’s the fire. Keep in mind, we’re surrounded by a showroom and a warehouse full of CHINESE-MADE GUNPOWDER!!! I calmly put my magazine down and assess the situation. Flames. Alcohol. Meh. It’ll burn itself out. Except the flames are up to the doorknob in height. The paint is peeling, oh wait, now there’s exposed wood, and yep, it’s on fire too.

“Lucky Charm” by PistolWhip

You see a few minutes earlier I was showerin up for a nice dinner with the lady friend and got a surprise Bar-BQ instead. Unbeknownst to me my ol’lady apparently found a receipt in my sock drawer for $5k worth of tools and immediately realized that I had spent her ring money… So as I was steppin out of the shower I hear a strange roar coming from the back yard. I throw on a pair of draws and peak out the back window to see the “love of my life” standin over a pile of what appears to be….well everything I own. Did I mention it was on fire? By this time, she sees me and makes a B-line to the garage. Oh no, not the tools! Without a second thought I rush to the door. As I hit a full sprint to the garage door I catch, out of the corner of my eye, a pile of my clothes tumbling across the yard. Luckily the bitch tripped on my guitar case which she had earlier used to drag all my stuff out of the house, HAHA KARMA!. She was all wrapped up in my pants for the first time in months and I had my shot at beating her to the door. My mind screams in silence as I raise my arms and do my best “Rocky at the top of the Art Museum steps” impression. I did it, I beat her to the garage! Now I have one goal “gotta save the Ranger, GOTTA SAVE THE RANGER!”

You can see all of the great entries on

UPDATE: You can see our first place winner PistolWhip’s in-depth review of his brand new Ranger toolbox complete with photos right here.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more special giveaways from BendPak / Ranger!

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